Persuasion in the Marriage Debate

-There is a truth about marriage.
-Failures of the marriage equality argument: Collapses the institution of marriage with companionship, can't explain any of the 3 traditional norms of marriage in the American legal context (monogamy, sexual exclusivity, or permanency), and can't explain why government is in the marriage business (the government shouldn't be in the bedroom, and yet revisionists what the government in people's bedrooms)
-What makes a marriage a marriage is it's degree of intensity
 -Philosophical:Action, goods, norms (marriage is a comprehensive relationshop in actions-unites, goods-the good of entire new life, and norms-committment of exclusivity and permanency).
-To united comprehensively you have to be able to unite is every single way.  Only men and women can do that together.  The action that unites the male and female is the act that brings life into the world.
-Sexual domain is what distinguishes marriage from other relationships.

Policy- What does marriage do for a community
-Unites man and women to be mother and father
-Marriage maximizes commitment  
-There is no such thing as "parenting"--there is mothering and fathering and each is important to the progression of children.
-Fathers teach sons how to be masculine and manly without being violent. They teach daughters what it's like to be loved 

-The government is in the marriage business because it wants to make sure that every child is conceived by a mom and dad, where the mom and dad will raise that child to maturity.  
-Promoting marriage doesn't ban anything.
-Consequences of redefining marriage: No matter what, law teaches something. Undercut the traditional norms of marriage. Direct impacts on religious liberty

-No fault divorce taught that marriage wasn't a long term commitment 
-The new vision of marriage will be about the intense love relationship and will presume that it only needs to last as long as the love lasts.  Marriage is not about children, its about adults
-If marriage is just about an intense relationship, then why should we keep the #2? ( 1 man and 1 woman)
Thrupple: Couple of 3 married to each other
-Wedlease: Leasing a spouse...what happens to children after the lease is over?
-Monogamish: Keep the twosome, but if there's no deceit, it should be okay to sleep around.
-Marriage equality trumps individual rights





In January of 2014, Dr. Ryan T. Anderson, the William T. Simon Fellow at the Heritage Foundation, came to BYU-Idaho to give non-religious reasons for what marriage is and why it matters.

• What principles of persuasion writing did you hear in this speech?
• This is not what I will be talking about
• Past, present, future
• Breaking down arguments from the other side 
• 
  
• What was the basis and/or the premise for the Ryan's stance?
• If you were on the fence when it comes to this topic, how would you feel after listening to his speech?
• What marriage actually is, and what it's real purposes are, is really misunderstood.
• 
  
• What was less effective about this speech?

Its not discrimination, because it's not a marriage.  You are rejecting what marriage is recognized as and want your relationship of choice to be recognized.

My Valentine

Im so excited because Chad and I just made reservations to eat at the Peruvian restaurant downtown called Andina.  We're going the day after Valentine's day after we do our engagement pictures.  Im really excited because Chad always tells me about the things he ate in Peru and I can tell that he really misses them.  This will be good because they have a lot of the traditional dishes that he had and he'll be able to explain to me all of the different ingredients and how they're normally eaten and that kind of thing.  Plus, I've been dying to go on another food adventure!

Us

I've been putting off this post for a long time...too long, really...but I figured its time for me to share how Chad and I got engaged.  Chad came home from his mission in Peru this last August and I went down to see him give his homecoming talk at church.  I took my sister with me for moral support, and once I got to his house, I sat in the driveway for a good 20 minutes before I got up the courage to go inside and see him.  Also, the drive ended up being much shorter than I had anticipated, and I didnt want to seem TOO eager.  I went inside and we hugged and it was awkward, but not too bad.  We went to church and he did a wonderful job on his talk and then later that night he had an open-house and tons of people came to see him.  At that point, I was feeling really overwhelmed, so I decided to go home.  A few weeks went by and we started talking on the phone every night and then we were finally back up at school together.  We had decided that we wanted to keep on dating each other and then I got all dramatic and told him that I wanted to slow things down and blah blah blah.  After a while of this, I finally got to a point where I realized that Chad is the best person for me and that I just needed to let go of whatever insecurities I had about our relationship and "getting to know each other again".  We talked about marriage and the logistics of it all and then went ring shopping.  A few weeks later, Chad had a friend of his and her boyfriend invite us on a "double-date" to go hiking at a place that Chad's ward had been earlier in the semester.  We all drove out to Harriman State Park on a sunny Saturday afternoon, and as we walked, I could tell that Chad was nervous about something.  He was being very quiet and awkward and I could tell he wasn't really listening to anything I was saying.  Suddenly, a wood bridge appeared in the distance and Chad started squeezing my hand so tightly that I thought one of my fingers would pop off for sure.  When we got onto the bridge, Chad stopped and gave me a journal that he had written a love letter in.  At the end of the letter it said, "Kelsi, will you...(turn around)" and when I turned around, he was on his knee and asked me to marry him.  We were both floating on air the rest of the day.
For being engaged and planning a wedding, I did surprisingly well in school; better than I had done while Chad was on his mission.  However, being engaged has been much harder than I thought it would be.  Not because of the stress of planning or anything like that, but because of the way other relationships changed.  A lot of the time, I felt like an outsider in my own apartment.  I know that a lot of it was my own fault because I was hanging out with Chad all the time, but even when I wasn't, there was a distant tension with my roommates.  I hardly talked to anyone about wedding plans, and really didn't want to after a while.  I always imagined that when I got engaged and started doing things like picking colors and finding a wedding dress, that it would be this happy and exciting thing that my friends would be involved in and supportive of, but I ended up doing a lot of things alone or with Chad and it made me kind of sad.  Transitions in life are hard, both for the person making the life change, and the others involved.  When I look back on this last semester, there are some things I wish I would have done differently regarding my friendships, and while engagement hasn't been everything I always thought it would, Im one step closer to being with Chad for eternity.  In 80 or so days, I will be sealed to my best friend, and there's nothing more exciting than that.

IM ENGAGED!!!

As of yesterday I am engaged to the love of my life and we're getting married on April 4th....Im too excited and tired and nauseous right now to go into detail (a post will be coming later all about it) so I should probably just go to bed.  But, OH MY GOSH!!! Im freaking out... :)

"Your elusive creative genius"

This is the most amazing thing I've ever heard.
Listen to it.  You wont regret it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

Happy

I am so so so happy because of reasons...that is all :)

Love

Yesterday my sister and I went down to Eugene to see Chad for the first time since he's been back and to hear his homecoming talk at church.  We left around 6 am and got there at about 8 for church at 9.  I wasn't super nervous until I was in his driveway, so we sat there for a good 15 minutes before I plucked up the courage to finally get out of the car and knock on his door.  I don't really know what I was expecting to happen, but I suppose things went fairly well.  There were moments where it felt normal like before, but mostly it was sort of weird.  He's still kind of in missionary mode and has some trouble with translating his thoughts to english...despite the slight language barrier, his homecoming talk went very very well.  He was assertive and more confident and was able to bring the spirit in a way that his farewell two years ago didn't really do.  It was amazing to see the change and see the man he's become.  After church, we went back to his house and played games and ate dinner.  At 7 they had an open house and a bunch of friends and people he knew came over to see him...thats when I started to feel super uncomfortable and a bit overwhelmed.  I probably shouldn't have stayed for that because it just made me feel weird about everything.  I don't know...I think the ball is more in his court at this point and I have no idea what to do or where to go from here.
In other news though, my grandparents' 50th anniversary was this last weekend so tonight we all went out to celebrate.  They've known each other since the 2nd grade and their love is so inspiring.  I hope one day Ill be able to celebrate 50 years of marriage with my husband and be just as in love with him then, if not more, as I will have been on our wedding day.